I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
