dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
