lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize