I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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