dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
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