Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Randomize