i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
