Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I want her autograph on my taint
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
