I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
