Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
