he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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