Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
