I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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