Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
