The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize