I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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