im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
