You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
