I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
