lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.