Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(520): View more from Arizona

JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!

(1-520): View more from Arizona

what?

(520): View more from Arizona

YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!

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(520): JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP! (1-520): what? (520): YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?! http://tfl.nu/3cop

Replies (38) Good night (846) Bad night (4140)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.

(507): View more from Minnesota

she is a standing ovation.

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(973): too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face. (507): she is a standing ovation. http://tfl.nu/6atu

Replies (14) Good night (789) Bad night (3186)
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(678): View more from Georgia

If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.

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(678): If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now. http://tfl.nu/3dz4

Replies (27) Good night (605) Bad night (3976)
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(216): View more from Ohio

somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.

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(216): somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen. http://tfl.nu/y8ck

Replies (17) Good night (9106) Bad night (1106)
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(256): View more from Alabama

My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.

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(256): My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred. http://tfl.nu/j0t5

Replies (18) Good night (3996) Bad night (1100)
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(240): View more from Maryland

He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice

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(240): He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice http://tfl.nu/qhk7

Replies (3) Good night (2610) Bad night (924)
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(618): View more from Illinois

And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it

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(618): And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it http://tfl.nu/zwsy

Replies (5) Good night (1523) Bad night (619)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.

(1-812): View more from Indiana

...the American dream.

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(812): Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit. (1-812): ...the American dream. http://tfl.nu/qt7c

Replies (15) Good night (3207) Bad night (799)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.

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(252): He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it. http://tfl.nu/4vqb

Replies (9) Good night (1827) Bad night (620)
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(248): View more from Michigan

So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?

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(248): So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone? http://tfl.nu/dwpt

Replies (1) Good night (967) Bad night (484)
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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...

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(512): I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to... http://tfl.nu/6eke

Replies (13) Good night (610) Bad night (1880)
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(954): View more from Florida

How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?

(1-954): View more from Florida

I thought I was just out of shape.

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(954): How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck? (1-954): I thought I was just out of shape. http://tfl.nu/t7eu

Replies (0) Good night (572) Bad night (480)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards

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(612): Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards http://tfl.nu/mq0j

Replies (5) Good night (592) Bad night (344)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won

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(856): Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won http://tfl.nu/yv5v

Replies (2) Good night (914) Bad night (278)
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(407): View more from Florida

Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.

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(407): Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone. http://tfl.nu/oywy

Replies (4) Good night (342) Bad night (699)

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