Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  1:48 am: your uglier

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  (901) 1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man (423) 1:48 am: your uglier http://tfl.nu/ln5v
  Replies (6) Good night (1234) Bad night (1767)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"

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  (949): i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE" http://tfl.nu/e95g
  Replies (18) Good night (1058) Bad night (4236)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  can we take a shower together?

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing

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  (731): can we take a shower together? (901): no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing http://tfl.nu/lc5h
  Replies (56) Good night (7821) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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  (856): He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college. http://tfl.nu/khqs
  Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (5848)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.

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  (609): We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada. http://tfl.nu/0b9c
  Replies (22) Good night (6137) Bad night (2014)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.

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  (215): So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me. http://tfl.nu/xxo9
  Replies (8) Good night (1045) Bad night (2077)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is

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  (914): all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is http://tfl.nu/2h7o
  Replies (6) Good night (5993) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish

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  (772): Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish http://tfl.nu/fyel
  Replies (9) Good night (2264) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.

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  (337): Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex. http://tfl.nu/wf1h
  Replies (11) Good night (650) Bad night (2397)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned

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  (+45): I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned http://tfl.nu/8ezp
  Replies (6) Good night (864) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"

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  (703): Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up" http://tfl.nu/thd5
  Replies (3) Good night (977) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.

  (254): View more from Texas

  It's 2 pm....

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  (940): I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas. (254): It's 2 pm.... http://tfl.nu/onth
  Replies (3) Good night (1832) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..

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  (704): All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar.. http://tfl.nu/zfs2
  Replies (5) Good night (790) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.

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  (647): The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud. http://tfl.nu/bog9
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.

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  (304): You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve. http://tfl.nu/0po8
  Replies (1) Good night (324) Bad night (534)

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