it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
