I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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