just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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