no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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