Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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