i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
smell my finger.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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