YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
