we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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