is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
