She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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