oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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