I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
