Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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