Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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