your parents love me but you hate me
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
