Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is Oprah even human
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
