I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
