you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
