You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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