So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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