ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
