let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
