This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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