I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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