who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
