Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
