so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
