then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
