Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
