my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
