And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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