I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Omg I joined a choir last night...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
