I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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