god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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