Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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