she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
what day is it and did you see me today?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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